Rules That Men Have

I try to generally stay serious in this blog. Sometimes, however, I don’t have a serious thought. Sometimes the day is beautiful and I feel frivolous. Sometimes I find something that’s funny and true and I can’t help sharing it. I found an article entitled 21 Rules that Men Have. There were only 19 which made it even funnier. So blame the beautiful weather and have a nice laugh.

1. Men are not mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat, you are a big girl.  If it is up, put it down, we NEED it up, you need it down.  You don’t hear us complaining when you leave it down.

3. Crying is blackmail.

4. Ask for What you want.  Let me be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

4. Yes and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

5. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That is what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

6. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become void after 7 days.

7. If you think you’re fat, don’t ask.

8. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

9. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.

10. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

11. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

12. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings..peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.

13. If we ask what is wrong, and you say “nothing” we will act like nothing is wrong.  We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.

14. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

15. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…REALLY

16. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss: Football, sports or SI Swimsuit Issue.

17. You have enough clothes.

18. You have too many shoes.

19. I am in shape, round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this, I know I am sleeping on the couch tonight…but did you know that all men don’t really mind sleeping on the couch?  It’s like we are camping.