Five years ago today my son Jason died unexpectedly. Like most of us, he could be a difficult man; but I could see Jesus in him when he was with his children. In those moments, he functioned as God means us to function: as projectors of the image of His Son.
OC reminds us today. ” Paul did not say that God separated him to show what a wonderful man He could make of him, but “to reveal His Son in me.””
John Bevere in Extraordinary talks about our images: Our projected image is the front that we attempt to put up. That image we want people to see when they see us. We often fool ourselves that we are successful in that projection. But we are not. There is a second image: our perceived image; that is what people see us as. It’s not the same as what we think they see; but it’s also not who we really are. What we really are is what Bevere calls the actual image.
It is sad to think that for most of us for most of our lives, no one, not us and not others, knows who we really are. I believe what OC is saying is that what we are meant to be is carriers of the light. When others see us they should see Jesus. We need to stop trying so hard to project any image other than Him.
In our unguarded moments, when we stop trying to be who we’re not, we become transparent. And if Jesus is inside, He is seen. Sometimes it’s just a fleeting glance; sometimes it’s a satisfying look.
Jason, I saw Jesus in those moments with your children. I look forward to seeing you and Him again.
Be transparent and
Be blessed.
Nick
So sorry to hear about the loss of Jason, but what a blessing to see that God has given you eternal perspective and continuous revelation. We’re honored to be serving alongside you!
Visit our blogs @ http://www.MessengerInternational.blogspot.com!
Nick, you are truly a man after God’s own heart. I see that in every post you apply God’s heart to practical matters. I am so sorry about Jason. I know how much it hurts. I am grateful that you have chosen to accept that pain and to Glorify God in spite of great pain. I love that you don’t ignore the pain, but choose to focus on God’s glory instead! I love reading your posts. I remember my first visit to Amana, in March of 2009. I had just found out I was pregnant with a little girl we named Marjorie Alice. I thought I was in menopause and the doctor surprised me with the news! My family had just gotten back together. I had my oldest children back home for the first time in 5 years. Tom, my husband, spent all his resources in legal battles to bring my children home. He loves our family so much and is walking with God. I am so blessed! In Spring of 2009, I attended Amana and felt the love and the Holy Spirit way down in my heart. I went home and told everyone we had to go there. I had watched it being built, delivered the mail there, and even helped Pastor T put in some huge boxes of books before I even knew his name. I really felt like I had found my Spiritual home. It would be almost 2 months before I would get to go back. The Sunday after church, we went to a baseball game the kids were playing at North Vermilion and Baby Marjorie went home. You probably know the details involving a pregnancy loss. We went to the hospital, and the doctor did an emergency hysterectomy. So now, I to recover both emotionally and physically. It took a long time. Because of the message placed in my heart that first preaching filled with the Holy Spirit, I was able to survive a loss that normally would have destroyed me. You see, I was actually saved April 4, 1994; but 5 days later, I lost my little girl, Angela Rochelle, and I turned my back on Christianity. I never grew spiritually until March when I visited Amana. I had a knowledge of Jesus; I had salvation, but I was only walking in my own power for 15 years! I lost another baby, Rebecka, and my marriage died. When Marjorie died, I was remarried to my wonderful Tom,and so grateful to God for putting my family back together that I couldn’t accuse him of engineering this pain. Pastor Kerry’s first words I will always remember that Sunday were, “The Devil wants to kill you.” Pastor T’s first words I will always remember were, “Power!”and “Hallelujah!”. There were other words, but I remembered those and God worked in my heart so much in those 6 weeks of rest. I knew that I would NEVER turn my back on Him again! A year later, our enemy would test me again with the death of my son, Freddy. By that time I knew God; and I could see the enemy’s tricks. Death had no power over my family or me anymore because I knew that absent from the body was to be present with the Lord. He is my judge and He knows the days of our lives before we are even born. The devil may have killed, but my Lord has saved! I wrote a poem:
The first time death came and took my mind.
I went mad for quite some time.
Then death came and took my home.
It left me angry and alone.
Then death came and took my body.
It left me pain and agony.
This time death, it broke my heart.
Jesus came and set me free.
When I opened my heart to Jesus, HE delivered me. He delivered me from anger, fear, shame, bitterness, pain, infirmity, and hatred. He taught me so gently to forgive everything and to focus on Him. I have failed Him again since those days, but He convicts me and it gives me great joy to ask for forgiveness and to get back up and serve Him again and again. It gives me great joy to love Him. Oh! How I love Him!
Thank you for sharing your walk. Thank you for taking the time to share with mine.
Theresa Taylor