Nick’s Walk

“You don’t know me.” That’s been my reactive thought and sometimes verbal response when someone says something that strikes real deep. Like most reactive thoughts, it’s not true and misses the point. It’s another aspect of “Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me.” On a surface level, we think others don’t know us and if they did they would understand why we do what we do. The truth is we don’t really know ourselves. Others often know us better. And what we do know of ourselves, we’re not exactly excited to share.  And often others all too well understand why we do what we do.Do you remember the first time you heard yourself in a recording or saw yourself on a video? Others hear us and observe us every day. We don’t have that privilege. If you’re like me you shy away from mirrors; too much truth. When we do look at ourselves in a mirror; it’s usually in a posed, unnatural, shot. We often have a distorted, self-created view of ourselves, usually based on a long ago version that was better looking, better acting, younger, and smarter than we are now (and, in fact, than we ever really were.)For most of […]

Last night at Amana we honored the volunteers whose efforts keep the church wheels turning. It is amazing what it takes and more amazing how God makes it all work. Pastor pointed out that oft quoted statistic that 20 percent of the folks do 80 percent of the work. The reason for that, obviously, is that 80 percent aren’t doing what they should be doing.  But we need to look deeper than that. Why aren’t the 80 percent pulling their load. For many, it is no doubt that they don’t believe they have a load to pull, they don’t listen to God, or they are just lazy. But for some of the 80 percent, they perceive that the 20 percent like being the 20 percent and really prefer that the 80 percent stay the 80 percent. Humans have problems with ownership and pride. “This is my ministry and no one can do it like I can.” We also have problems with self-flagellation. “Poor Poor Pitiful Me.” That’s more than lyrics from an old Linda Ronstadt song.  It’s a refrain we love to sing.Today OC talks about how obedience to God often costs others more than it costs the obedient […]

I’m back. I feel back in sync. No not these guys. They are N Sync. I can’t sing a lick. But I am in sync. It could be the 9 plus hours of Nyquil assisted sleep I just got, but I expect not. I believe it was the time I spent yesterday with the people of God. Joe Hadwin and I rode over to Baton Rouge for the first Kairos training meeting. Just the ride there and back would have been enough, without the meeting. Hearing Joe passionately tell his story of God’s touch on His life and his journey back from spiritual and physical death is enough to re-sync anyone. But I got more. I got to spend hours with forty something who had received something from God and who confidently expect to receive more, not in physical blessings but in the adrenaline rush you get from watching God work. Acts 26:17-18 (New King James Version) 17 I will deliver you from the Jewish people, as well as from the Gentiles, to whom I now send you, 18 to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, […]

Do you ever feel that life is a one way street and you’re headed the wrong way? Do you sometimes have the sense you’re out of sync with the world you live in? I do.Once again Rosemary and I find ourselves at odds with the movie critics and apparently most of the movie going world. Last night we did something we hardly ever do: we went to see a movie the first day it’s out. We normally avoid this because for the first few days the theater can be crowded. But we had seen the previews for Leap Year. We love Amy Adams and loved the glimpses of scenic Ireland that the previews provided. As it turns out the theater wasn’t crowded, some folks are apparently reading the reviews. We loved the movie and thought it was one of the best we’ve seen. The critics completely disagree. The movie isn’t deep or socially significant or politically relevant. Maybe that’s why we loved it. We go to the theater for release, release for a world that takes itself too seriously, a world that no longer believes that the simple things are best, or that love is best when it’s most […]

One of the highlights of our recent vacation was our visit to my brother Michael’s home. On one wall of his living room, Mike has pictures of family ancestors, his family on one side and his wife, Mary Ann’s, family on the other. It’s a touching display of the importance of recognizing our heritage.The display includes a picture of my Dad’s mother. We called her Mama Beam. She was a devoted Catholic of the old school. When the church went to the English in the mass, she  ignored that and would say her Rosary during the ceremony.She was an avid card player. She had a group of friends she played with, as I recall, daily. During lent she would “give up” card playing. No one wanted to visit Mama Beam during lent because she missed her card playing and it showed up in her disposition.I remember trying to “give up” things like spinach or homework. I guess I didn’t get the idea.The concept of “giving up” things or making a sacrifice for God is an ancient one. Over the centuries the concept has gotten confused. If you ask someone making such a sacrifice today the reason for their actions, […]

Rosemary and I wrapped up our vacation trip to Houston with a great ride home. We had good conversation and Rosemary shared with me from a book she has been reading. Moments of intimacy are the greatest blessing of a relationship. We have known each other for forty years; but we try to never make the mistake of thinking we completely know each other. Even now, in fact, frequently, we are surprised by each other.  So much more so with God, who is infinitely more complex than Rosemary or I. We never get to the point where we know God. And the great pleasure of our relationship with Him are those moments of intimacy when our knowledge increases; when we learn just a tiny bit more of Him. As always, OC provides me with an insight I never had on intimacy. He says, “Fruit bearing is always mentioned as the manifestation of an intimate union with Jesus Christ (John 15:1-4). John 15:1-4 are the familiar verses about the vine. John 15:1-4 (New International Version) The Vine and the Branches  1“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no […]

We’ve decided to leave Houston a day early in order to escape the approaching winter storm. We know it will probably add up to little more than really cold weather, but the thought of combining Texas and Louisiana drivers with potentially icy conditions is sending us scurrying for the shelter of home.  Besides, the vacation has had it’s intended results: a few days in a different environment, a refreshing and a gradually growing gratitude that our life is our life. Nothing against Houston; this phenomena occurs any place we visit and we have been blessed to visit many spots. At first there is a small touch of envy at the different life style you are plunged into; but eventually comes the realization that the life we have is pretty great. Oswald Chamber (henceforth OC – yes, after 5 days of devotionals I feel I’ve reached the level of familiarity with Oswald that I can abbreviate his name) gives us a different definition of Worship today: Worship is giving God the best that He has given you.  This, for me, is a new definition of worship. Worship in the dictionary is “The reverent love and devotion accorded a deity, an […]

I amaze myself at what I don’t know. We came to Houston for the week because we believed we were familiar with it. Not so. We drove around the downtown yesterday and I commented that the recession had hit Houston hard. There was hardly anyone on the streets. I discovered later that there are tunnels now below downtown Houston. There were plenty of people  moving quickly below ground; smart enough to be in tunnels and not on the streets in cold weather. We descended into the tunnels and couldn’t find anything more interesting than more tunnels. My adventure into my ignorance continued upon exiting the tunnels,  when I wasn’t smart enough to figure how to get out of the parking garage. And me a techie and all. Today I drove through parts of Houston I didn’t know existed. Some are wonderful; others not so much so. I am learning that just when we think we “know it all” our alarm bells should go off. This particularly true with God. Even if we are smart enough to realize that it’s all about relationship and not trying to get the rules right, we are rarely competent at relating. Relationship is about […]