No Regrets

18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

I came across a fascinating article by a nurse who took care of dying patients for many years. She listed five regrets that, she observed, were most common among her dying patients. I feel sure that the nurse accurately recorded the regrets as expressed by these patients. However, I really wonder if those patients really “got it” even after a long a full life, or if the nurse really correctly summarizes the basis for the “regrets” she observed.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

It’s truly sad to live a life trying to fulfill the expectations of others. It’s great to have dreams and try to live out at least some of them; but isn’t it most important to discover the purposes God has for our lives and strive to fulfill those purposes? On my death-bed I hope to feel that I spent enough time with God to learn His plan for me and to gain enough grace to fulfill that plan. I don’t know of any other way to be really “true” to myself.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

I don’t think folks so much regret working hard; they regret working too hard on things that don’t matter – that have no eternal significance. When we close our eyes for the last time, don’t we really want to do so knowing when we open them again we will be with the Lord who will have kept for us the treasures that we built up in heaven, caring not at all for the “treasures” we leave behind?

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I guess we all feel like people really don’t know us, at least not the real us. It is truly sad to think that so many live life and never let down the walls enough to allow others in. I don’t think it’s so much a matter of wearing our feelings on our sleeves. It’s more about vulnerability and honesty. We don’t have to alway say things are “great” when they are not. We don’t have to be silent when we know there’s something eternally significant we need to share, even if it’s not politically correct. We are created to be in relationship both with our God and with the people He blesses us with.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I don’t think the problem here is so much losing touch with friends, but failing to recognize who our friends really are. There are people whose influence and presence is positively life-changing. The problem is they aren’t always the best looking, most popular, or financially blessed. In fact, they usually are politically incorrect, socially unacceptable, and really plain. They just love Jesus. That gives them to the power to be life-changers. “Hooking up” with them helps us to be life-changers as well.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I know it’s a popular belief that we can choose to be happy.I don’t know about that.  I do know that we can experience joy through our choices. They aren’t the choices that are popular or the choices we are encouraged to make by television or movies. They are the right choices and, deep down, we know what they are. It takes real grace to make them.

I believe it is possible to lie on our death beds free of regrets. I think the nurse missed the truth. She wrote, “ Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.” The way is much narrower than that; but it does exist. There is a way, just one way.