While researching for my Mother’s Day devotional I came across the ABCs of Parenthood. I am always cautious about parenting tips. Parents are so different as are kids. We are often sensitive about our parenting, perhaps thinking deep down that it should come naturally and yet we so often don’t have a clue.
So consider these thoughts:
Do you know what children need? A – B – C:
Acceptance, Belonging, Confidence
ACCEPTANCE
We all need to feel that people love and accept us for who we are. This requires that we know others and that we are known. It seems obvious that we should know our kids, but they often surprise us. Like with other people, we often make assumptions. If they aren’t doing well in school, we can assume that they aren’t applying themselves, when maybe they are reacting to a bullying situation. We can adopt a “squeaky wheel” approach thinking if they aren’t saying anything everything must be fine. Kids need to trust their parents, to know that they can tell them anything. That takes time, quality time, time when the child is the only focus, not today’s concerns or tomorrow’s plans.
BELONGING
I had eight brothers and sisters. My folks never had much money. We didn’t live in fancy places; but we always felt those places were home. They were places we felt safe; they were ours. It’s easy to adopt a my house, my rules attitude. While we should certainly be in charge in our homes, the kids need to know that the home is theirs as much as ours. I am not sure how my parents were able to convey that sense of belonging, but they did. At least we need to start with an awareness of just how important it is. It’s far too late when a teenager doesn’t feel the place he lives is home.
CONFIDENCE
Kids need to know that they are capable of succeeding. Nothing succeeds like success. As parents we need to provide opportunities for our kids to succeed. That means providing challenges, achievable goals, and acknowledgement of success. Personally, this was probably my biggest failing as a parent. It was always easier for me to do something that to teach someone else to do it. Part of getting that sense of belonging in a home is having responsibilities in that place.
Perhaps what we really need as parents is a great role model. We have one in Our Father. He accepts us for who we are. He loved us while we were yet sinners. Yet He wasn’t and isn’t satisfied with where we are, guiding us to where we should be. He gives us the confidence which comes in knowing that we can do all things, through Christ who strengthens us.
When we struggle as parents we need to consider how we were accepted as we were, taken into the family of God where we belong, and sent out to do great things. A mighty model is our God.
Be blessed.
Nick
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