Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
When Christian parents are young and their children are even younger, this proverb is shared with them. They pray with their children, take them to church, and tell them about Jesus. They read them bible stories, try to direct their television watching and friend selection and generally feel this wise proverb is working out.
When these parents are a bit older and their children are teenagers, they begin to think of this proverb in terms of condemnation. “What did we do wrong? Where did we fail?” These are the common refrains of parents of the young ones who start to drift (or sometimes run) away. Some try to comfort them with advice about everyone having free will and “You did the best you could.”
Maybe the Amish have it right. When young ones get to a certain age, they let them loose. They spend some time in the world and, their parents hope and pray, that they will find the values of their parents have merit and that they will return to the community. Along this line, I would point out this about the proverb. It talks about children and the “old.” It doesn’t mention that in between offspring may just go wild. As I get older and evaluate my own experience and those of my contemporaries, I see that values instilled in children generally do blossom; sometimes it just takes a while.
The tough part isn’t when the kids are young and consider their parents wise. Or when they are adults and begin to realize that their parents did a better job than they thought. The tough times are those years when kids think their parents are old-fashioned, woefully ignorant, and just plain mean. It’s not the time to give up. It’s the time to continue to pray. It’s the time to continue to lead even when it seems no one is following. It’s the time to trust God. It’s even the time to trust that the young ones need to learn some lessons themselves. It’s the time to learn the delicate balance between loving and enabling. It’s the toughest time of all. It’s the time when hair disappears or turns gray, when waistlines expand, and exhaustion seems a way a life. But it’s not the time to quit or give up. It’s just the time to adjust, continue to love and hang on. And to pray that maturity comes quickly to the ones we love more than life itself, even as they ignore and mock us.
Hang in and, eventually, be blessed.
Nick
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